Unicorn's and other stuff

Yes that is the MAN James Brown with a gun. A starter pistol to be exact. Taken at the start of the Tour De Georgia 05. Someone seriously put a gun in James Brown's hand; in public. You cant make this stuff up.

I'm posting up late today because the worldwide interweb wasn't cooperating at the butt-crack of dawn when I usually post the ramblings of velo.

It's a shame too because I had an amazing post planned and you are going to have to settle for this one. The weekend, bourbon and beer are calling my name.


I walked out the door this morning and the clouds didn't look like this so I knew it would be an OK day.



Are unicorns the new uni-horned awesome? I have been known to prance around in the woods wearing this get-up courtesy of Halters Cycles. This is a great shop with an obviously good sense of humor. Ask Jay about the benefits of 29ers. He will be sure to tell you.

Now obviously I don't have a huge amount of self respect for the seriousness that is Mountain Biking. In fact PK "the legend" Ripper gets so angry at me for wearing this on company MTN rides he is about speechless, and that is something most can not achieve.

This get up prompted the female KK to forward me a link. Since I am the Prez of the KK Fan club, I would be remiss not to post this bit of awesomeness. And in all fairness KK wanted me to know that Anna forwarded it to her. So it is good to know that Anna is demented as KK and myself. Look here and be amazed.

Now I have a perfect opportunity to post two unicorn pic's that have been taking up megabytes in my computer for a while just waiting for this time.





The weekend is calling and I do believe it is now officially time for a "gift". And ladies if your looking for something to buy for your man....

Wednesday Quote The Shrink

“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking.” Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr.

Are you having one of those days?

It could be one of those days where everything goes right. Your significant other knows your every move; your boss calls you up and gives you an attaboy! Basically all is well in your world.

It could be one of those days where everything goes wrong. Your significant other thinks you are the antichrist; your boss calls you up and gives you a good old fashioned ass chewing. Basically all is not well in your world.

The bicycle has the ability to help both of those scenario’s get better.

In a way similar to a good psychiatrist the bicycle listens to you. Even if you don’t speak. It senses your every move and responds accordingly.

A violent thrashing will cause the bike to lurch around. A loud “scream” of the legs will cause the road or trail to disappear underneath your wheels. A gentle nudge of the hips or shift in your weight will cause your bicycle to change course.

The wind in your face seems to clear the thoughts in your head. It may cause you to see things with more clarity, and it may allow you to see things from a different perspective. It can also allow you to just think about NOTHING! This is a needed thing and very refreshing.

The time may be spent socially, or cathartically alone. Both have distinct advantages.

In order to not end this too deep I have to announce that I got a new “Psychiatrist” the
other day. I can’t wait for our first session. She seems to have all of the right qualifications.

Why do I Ride?

This pic from the Green Laker got me thinking. I started riding at a young age and went through three bigwheel’s before my first real bike. I rode them until the front wheels literally split into two pieces because the plastic in the center wore out. Wish I would have done a no footer like that kid though. He is definitely rad.

My first bike was slowly transformed from a banana seat bike to a BMX bike. The seat got replaced with a ten speed seat, the chainguard came off, as well as the fenders, and I saved up and got an Ashtabula fork. It was probably in an attempt to be more like 4. He was and is to this day my childhood hero.

We came up with the idea to tow my mom’s old baby carriage down the street. The only effective way to do this was to turn it backwards and flip the bag between the handles over onto the seat and sit on it. The problem was the rear wheel of the bike would rub the axle of the carriage and flip it. At this point I cant remember if we thought weight would stop it from flipping, or if I just wanted the thrill, but I was littlest and got in. 4 pedaled like hell and got ripping down the street. It was fun until…

Of course the carriage flipped even with me in it. 4 dragged me for a good while and probably only realized that I was down when he heard me shrieking like the fire whistle. Anyone who knows me knows that out of this little body comes some massive volume. It couldn’t have been pleasant to hear. The kid’s huddled me over to 4’s house and aunt Ginny did her best to clean me up. This was my first experience with road rash. I ended up going to the hospital to get de-pebbled, and had to wear a mesh shirt for a while to hold the bandages in place. I was riding again the next day, mom was less than enthused.

My mom came up with an old parachute and gave it to us to play with. We would take turns folding it up, and tying it to our bikes. We would go to the end of the street and sprint as fast as possible before throwing the parachute in the air. Sometimes it would balloon up picture perfect, just like in the movies and everyone would cheer. Other times it would just kinda sputter out, and then the collective groan was audible. It took forever to fold that parachute back up but we would do it with excitement for our next run.

All that from one picture of a kid on a bigwheel. I actually enjoyed that trip down memory lane. There are plenty more trapped in my head. I do believe I’ll let a few more out.

Maybe I ride to get back that excitement of youth. I know I ride to sort out my day to day issues. I ride because I like to. I ride because I’m living the dream.

The Fit Chick "Living the Dream"

“Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody” Ben Franklin

I know it's not Wednesday but I thought it was appropriate to start this post with this particular quote. When I am striving for inspiration to tap out words for this I like to look outside of myself. I joke about this being an exercise in narcissism but in reality it is more like an escape. Like all of us I have trials and tribulations in life. This just doesn't seem the appropriate place to air them.

When I sit back and analyze my life I tend to believe I am a pretty positive person. I like to focus on the positive and look outside of myself for inspiration. I appreciate snarky comments and being critical of people as much or more than the next guy, but it just seems disingenuous or mean when I type it out.

I tend to look towards people or things for inspiration. This leads me to today's post.

The Lehigh Valley has an a excellent cycling community. Being the home to The Velodrome, and Rodale press help this community out. But the community wouldn't be anything without the people. Mark and the crew at South Mountain Cycles hold great events. Steve at Saucon Valley is as passionate for the sport as they come, and Josh is one of the few mechanics that I would let touch my bicycle with a wrench. And the day I met Liz Reap I knew I'd met a friend for life. There are too many more to count, but I know I always have fun when I go to the Valley for a ride. Good terrain, and Good people is always a winner in my book.

On to Selene Yeager the "Fit Chick". Truth be told I barely know Selene. I have probably interacted more with her through commenting on her Facebook posts than actual conversation. The times I say hello to her she is always very nice and cordial but I am quite sure afterwards I see her talking to someone (Cush or Beth) quietly saying who is that guy? Or why is he in my house after Fifth Street Cross for BBQ? That's OK by me, short, almost skinny white guys are a dime a dozen in cycling.

I have always liked Selene's writing. What I know about her from other people she is as genuine in life as in writing. I admire that. One of my favorite catch phrases when people ask me how I am doing is that I am "Living the Dream". Most of the time I mean that for exactly as it states. I work with Bicycles, and they have helped me meet the most amazing people,visit fantastic places and basically live the dream.

The few times that I have actually been on rides with the Fit Chick I have not chatted with her because she is FIT. Faster than me and as fast as the elite in the area, of which there is many. I like that she is walking the walk. I saw a car with an advertisement on it the other day for the "Fit Mommy", I was intrigued until I saw a women that was bordering on being morbidly obese get into the car. I have nothing against heavy people but if your going to bill yourself as fit, in my book you should be.

Something I don't talk about in this forum is that I am a Father. I have two girls that I adore more than anything I could ever imagine. Watching them grow and being raised by a single mother who I adore almost as much has placed a special appreciation in me for positive female role models.

Selene is a positive role model. She's a positive role model for both sexes but being female it is easy for girls to look up to and relate to her. The reason I started writing this entire post is this article in Bicycling. Please take a moment to click through and read it. This is what cycling should be about in my opinion. Yes we love to ride, yes we love to hang out with the crew, but the bicycle is not just some machine. It truly is a vehicle for change, a way to empower people, a positive way of life. I have probably read that article once a week or more since it was published. It speaks to me.

Thank You Selene. For the great insight.

Wednesday Quote in Pictures

"A bird knows the air without knowledge"

Last weekend I went to the Morris Arboretum. For years I've driven past going to park at the stables at the Wiss. I HIGHLY recommend going.

The park borders the Wissahickon. It is amazing. They have an elevated walk in the trees complete with an adult size birds nest, a sculpture garden, and all kinds of cool stuff. They even have a stand of redwood trees.

I took well over 200 pictures. I will not bore you with all of them but I will share some choice ones. There were plenty of quotes carved into benches and chairs around the park. I'll share those as well.

The Bird Nest

"I see you in the Sky above In the tall grass In the ones I Love"



This guy is HUGE. He is probably four feet tall.


This "sculpture" is enormous and intertwined in the twig's are live bamboo shoots growing. You can walk around in it. I have named it the melted Hershey's Kiss.

"Love you once love you twice Love you more than cats love mice"

I dig gnarly old knotted trees.

"Dedicated to the silent art of gliding"

OOOOHHH Artsy






Take time to look at the flowers and smell the roses.

Down on the Street

I saw this beauty as I was driving down the road and nearly stood my soccer-mom mobile on it's nose stopping and turning into the library parking lot. Immediately I knew I had to do an homage to the Green Laker.

His "Down on the Street" updates are always filled with facts about the vehicle and witty anecdotes about how he owned or wanted to own said vehicle.

I have none of the witty repartee that "THE" Green Laker would impart on the subject. Hell I only know this car is a BMW, and didn't feel like surfing Google trying to figure it out. Was kinda hoping the Green one himself would impart some knowledge. To that point I know I like old BMW's.

I had never seen this one and it caught my eye. Lets let the picture's tell a thousand words and I'll lob occasional commentary.

She's a bit rough around the edges, the hood doesn't even close all the way.

Cute Butt. Just Sayin.

Pennsylvania winters and road salt seem to be taking a toll on the elegant old gal.

I tried to get a picture of the great very intact wooden dashboard but the reflection, and my wish not to look like I was thieving the vehicle kept me from getting it.

To that note--while trying to get some interior pictures I noticed that the keys were hanging in the ignition. It was only a brief thought but it was there.

See Ya for the Wednesday Quote.

At Saunier Duval the Only Dope I Saw Was Me.

Taken from the team car during Stage 1 of the 05 Tour de France.


Lets start off by giving a delayed "ATTA BOY" to Chris Horner. Chris won the overall at the Vuelta al País Vasco. and got to wear the big hat, the txapela.


Photo by Graham Watson via Velonews.

Chris is one of my favorite racers. This is in part because I have spent some time getting to know him, and in part because I appreciate his candor. I have heard people disparage Chris because they thinks he is a braggart, and I disagree. He is matter of fact, and to the point about his abilities. If a reporter ask's him a question he answers it honestly.

I like that when asked how he can do on any given day he will tell you. To further elaborate I do not believe an arrogant man would turn himself inside out to secure victory for a teammate the way he would. His attacks on others behalf are the stuff we all strive for in our minds.

Not to mention Chris's desire to help up and coming cyclists get up the hill.



Maybe Chris should have attacked this Champagne bottle on the podium a bit better. I Kid, I Kid. He still won beating Valverde in the process.



I would be remiss if I didnt give a Happy Birthday shout out to that Big Jersey Freerider.

Happy Birthday Jeff!

Friday Beer Hand Up

I was perusing my pictures for inspiration and clearly that top picture is inspiration worthy. I then came across a pic of T-Rav. It was inspiration worthy in a COMPLETELY different way. I knew when I took the pic that T-Rav looked like Wallace of Wallace and Gromit fame but pictures truly dont lie. Judge for yourself.


T-Rav's Doppelganger

Of interest Tom Boonen has often been accused of looking like Wallace as well. I point these similarities out only as observation. Both of these guys are faster than me, just in varying degrees.



Some picture captions write themselves so for this one I've got nothin.



Do you ever get the creepy feeling that your electronic equipment knows you? Well I really don't either but, this was quite the pairing of music while my Ipod was on shuffle the other day.

Queen's "Bicycle"



Followed by Iggy Pop "Lust for Life"



This is all the randomness I can conjur at the moment. So as you file out of work today.



I hope that someone gives you a beer handup to start the weekend off nicely.

Wedneday Quote PEE WEE HERMAN and Bicycle Movies

Pee Wee Herman Stencil by Wildabeast76
“I spent an awful long time 12 years ago thinking to myself, you know, this can't be my final thing. I'm a big believer in the happy ending. I want a Pee-Wee movie to have a happy ending. Pee-Wee gets his bicycle back. I don't know what the ending is to my story. But I think it's going to be a happy one.” Paul Reubens

Is this really a quote about Happy Endings from Pee Wee? Really? I have to assume that this was before his arrest. If you dont know what he was arrested for, look it up, then re-read that quote. It will get funnier.



Searching for pictures of Pee Wee and his bike I came across this one.



It was taken at the America on Wheels museum in Allentown PA. I never knew something like this existed so close by. I'm gonna chalk this up to "you learn something new everyday". Now I'm done learnin, I can be content being a dolt for the rest of the day.

This museum looks like like something the Green Laker would be jealous of. Now that I know such a prestigous institution exists, with a display dedicated to the greatest bicycle movie ever made I must visit it.

Yeah thats right--I just went there. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure is (in my opinion) the best bicycle movie ever.



He had me from "This about a boy and his bike". This movie has it all.
Boy has bike, Boy loses Bike, A horrible villain, a pretty girl, Large Marge the trucker, sweet 80's BMX stuff, and sweet redemption.

It truly is a classic. I get all welled up just thinking about it.


That Darn Francis!



Tim Burton at his finest here.

Coming in an extremely close second is Breaking Away.



I must have watched or heard this movie hundreds of times. We used to run it on replay at Turin in Denver when I worked there. Quite frankly I got a little sick of it. After a few years of rehabilitation I purchased it again to watch on the trainer. It was only then that I realized that Dennis Quaid was in the movie. Maybe I wasn't watching as intently as I thought.

This is a great movie. I can not be in a retail store and here someone ask for their money back without thinking REFUND, REFUND!!!!



Other classic Bicycle movies include the cheesy 80's movies Quicksilver, and American Flyers. Both starred very famous Kevin's. The first film had Bacon, the second Costner. A-Lister's giving the bicycle exposure.

Both of these movies are a bit of a shame because they are so cheesy, but they were mainstream movies, and hey the 80's were pretty cheesy.

Quicksilver has a sweet opening sequence with Nelson Vails ripping through the city. Nelson was the MAN. For all I know he may still be.



I won't speak of the bike dancing scene. Damn I just did.

American Flyers showed bicycle racing in a little different light. The story is contrived but there are some great shots of the "Hell of the West", which in actuality was the Coors Classic. As a teenage boy I remember vividly (very) brief nudity as well. Those things get permanently burned in a young impressionable mind.

My favorite scene of the movie is without a doubt training with Eddie.




I own all of these and they get at least one eye-ballin a season during trainer time. If you havent seen any of these check em out. Tell em Large Marge sent ya.

Ciao Mama, Ciao Papa

I'm Conflicted

So I figured I would write about the bicycle(s) I would like for the season, then I open Internet Explorer, my home page is set to cnn.com. While all I can think about is my bicycle choices and then I see this headline, "A Cancer Survivor Cycling for a Cure" Naturally I click on it.

This is the story of Anne Feeley. Anne has Brain Cancer and is doing a bicycle ride to raise awareness and much needed money. Reading through this article knocks me back a bit. Cancer stories always do.

I am lucky to be worrying about which bicycle I want to ride to enjoy my life. While Anne is using the bicycle and exercise to LIVE! Crazy how things affect me.

Now that I have laid out the HEAVY stuff, I will get on to my regularly scheduled narcissistic rambling.

In a past edition of My Life Behind Bars, I rambled on about how I enjoy my Giant Trance X. The Trance is an awesome all around trail bike. I can honestly say that this is probably the most fun bike I have ridden.

The issue is that ever since I strapped a numberplate on two weeks ago I can't stop thinking about building a race bike. Maybe something like this...



Or this...



The BIGGER Issue is will either of these make a difference? The short answer is yes. Both of these race machines will shave time off any race laps I may do. Do I give up a fun riding bike that I really like for a faster bike that will make me slightly less pack fodder at the local race?

Obviously I would like a new bike. DUH! The question is am I doing this for fun, (Trance X) or AM I doing this to win? (XTC or Anthem X) Obviously I would like to win. The conundrum is that past performance does not pan out for me being the fastest guy. I realize that this may be defeatest, but I tend to think of it as realism.

The reason that I want to race again is because I like the scene, and I like the people. This probably answers my own question for now, BUT I would like a new race bike--they are sexy and LIGHT! If by some quirk of fate I post a good placing (in the Sport class of all places), I know me, I will be buying a new bike. Until then I will be rocking a Trance X. Contrary to what Lance Armstrong say's--It is All About the Bike.

Not being flippant here at all, but, there are worse issues to obsess over. As a friend of mine says "At Least I Don't Have Cancer"

Check out my friends at Young Survival Coalition. They are helping make this world a better place. They even use the bicycle to help do it.

Bicycles Kick ASS, and help KICK Cancer's ASS!

I Like Bike's

Bowden Spacelander

It's no mystery that I like bicycles. I like all kinds of bicycles. Yesterday S.H. was in town and we spent the day walking around Philly and checking out different shops.

The temperature was excellent and we saw every style of bike imaginable being used. Hipsters on Fixters, Kids on BMX bikes, Workers on BMX bikes, Girls in sundresses on Cruisers, Racer Boys and Girls in Spandex, Business people on 3-speeds. I did not see these guys though. Would've been cool if I did.




Phily is a great bike town. It warms my soul to see people using bicycles for recreation, and transportation. I wish I would have seen a Bowden Spacelander though.

The Bowden was the first composite bicycle. At least as far as I know of. Apparently Mr. Bowden designed the first Spacelander in the 1940's. The bicycle was never produced until 1960. Then it was only produced for a short period of time. The most common Bowden's were red but this prototype picture got me thinking about it.



How about this Green Bowden



As a kid I was never far from my trusty BMX bike. When I see well preserved or restored 80's era BMX bikes my leg starts to twitch like a dog when you sctratch them in just the right spot. My leg twiched so hard when I saw these I damn near fell over. Now some of these may be from the early 90's but still "Leg Twitch" worthy.






With all of that said I hope you have a Radical weekend dude!